What It Really Means to Be Open for a Spirit Medium Reading

Karen T. Hluchan
11 min readAug 2, 2021


Statue of an angel

A spirit medium reading is a deep spiritual connection with Heaven in which communications from loved ones in spirit come through to bring healing of the soul, love, closure, reassurance, insights into current and future events, life guidance, glimpses of what they are doing in Heaven and who they are with, how and when they visit loved ones on Earth, signs they send, and much more. It is a sacred exchange in which they bring insight from a higher perspective to help you and those you love on a soul level. It should be approached with respect for the complex spiritual process, as well as for the divine insights which go well beyond our limited view of the world and our existence.

Knowing More About You Than You Realize

Loved ones in spirit know more about your life path than you do. This is because they literally see events and situations from a higher perspective. They work closely with the Archangels and God and are fully aware of past and current events. In addition, they have access to your akashic records which contain the soul lessons and plans for your life, as well as all that was, is, and will be for you and those you love on Earth. These are some of the many reasons that when sitting for a reading to receive divine communications from them, it is important to remain open to how they come through, as well as the messages they would like to convey.

Reasons for Why They are Coming Through a Certain Way and the Messages They are Bringing

When loved ones in spirit are coming through to communicate, they know their time is limited to deliver what needs to be shared. Because of this, they bring through specific information from their life or yours which can be packed with multiple meanings and messages within the messages. This information may be surprising at first because it may not match your preconceived notions of what they would bring. For instance, there can be a seemingly mundane reference to an event which recently occurred. When they are bringing that through, they are indicating not only their awareness of the event, but also that they were there with you as a witness in spirit. As to why it is a certain loved one coming through, there are always reasons for that. Often, the loved one in spirit experienced events or situations similar to ones you are going through at the time of your reading and they want to help you with their expertise. They know who you want to hear from, and that loved one often comes through; however, there may be others who can provide insights to your life or to the lives of those you love which must come from them.

Misconceptions of What It Means to be Open to a Reading

There are times when recipients of a reading think they are open to communications and even state that; however, they are truly not when they put stipulations on who they want to come through, what they think loved ones in spirit are going to share as identifying information, and what messages they will bring. By injecting expectations and preconceived notions upon a reading, the recipient is closing themselves off to what could be amazing experiences in which loved ones in spirit will bring soul level insights from Heaven to help you or others. Here are some examples of closed behaviors or mindsets and why they place blocks to communications from the Other Side:

Only Wanting to Hear from One Specific Loved One in Spirit

We have all been in a place in which we would like to hear from a specific loved one in spirit. This could be due to the closeness of your relationship, that they recently passed, or that they passed in a way that left questions as to whether they are in Heaven or are doing well in Heaven. Who comes through during a reading is as important as the messages they bring, and the messages they bring can only be brought by them. For instance, if you focus solely on hearing from your mother in spirit, you may miss out on recognizing and claiming your grandmother who also lost her mother at a young age and is coming through to help you with the healing process through her own experiences in life. Does this mean your mother will not come through? No, it does not mean that. It means that your grandmother needed to come through first to help bring healing to your life. When recipients resist or push back on this, it wastes precious time that could be used to allow your mother to come through. Another reason why your grandmother may come through first is because your mother was someone who would put others before herself. It is your mother’s subtle way of showing her personality traits. There are countless reasons why certain loved ones come through and in what order. By remaining open to whomever and whatever they bring, you give the loved ones in spirit the space they need to bring through the divine communications from a higher perspective.

Demanding to Hear from Only One Specific Loved One in Spirit

Demanding anything from anyone, alive or deceased, rarely brings the results you are looking for in any situation. Spirit mediums do not control or command loved ones in spirit. They are free souls with free will who decide when and how they want to come through. By demanding a specific loved one to come through, without exception, you are definitively blocking the divine communications and taking the spirit medium out of the open mindset they need to allow the communications to flow. It also puts the spirit medium in a position in which they must continually ask loved ones in spirit who are stepping up to step aside because the recipient does not want to hear from them. This wastes time and can be very frustrating for the spirit medium, the loved ones in spirit, and the recipient. This scenario grinds the entire communication process to a halt, creating a situation in which the reading cannot proceed. Great sadness, grief, and anger, as well as a misunderstanding of how spirit medium readings work, are often the underlying reasons for someone to demand specific loved ones in spirit to come through. If you are in a place in which your grief is overwhelming you, it is better to wait until you are in a more peaceful or accepting mindset before sitting for a reading.

Making a Pact with a Loved One in Spirit Prior to the Reading to Bring through a Certain Piece of Information

Right before a reading there are times when recipients plead with or make pacts with loved ones in spirit to bring through certain information to prove it is them, such as a code word, a song, or a reference to an event. For instance, the day or night before the reading the recipient may say in their mind to their best friend in spirit that they need to mention “black coffee” or “Grand Canyon” in the reading just so they really know it is them coming through. This kind of thinking displays a lack of faith and is a demand to the loved one in spirit. When doing this, the recipient is closing themselves off from the free flow of divine information to waste time demanding to hear what they want to hear. They may also completely dismiss the loved one in spirit coming through, even though they brought many specific pieces of information which clearly defined they are the one they wanted to hear from. On an important note, loved ones in spirit may or may not give the code word or information demanded by the recipient because they have a higher purpose to bring through other information. Remember, there are reasons why they bring through information the way they do and it often contains messages within the messages. Asking why this and not that dismisses their messages they work hard to convey to help you with your life from a soul perspective.

Thinking a Loved One in Spirit Will Come Through the Same Way Every Time

Depending upon the spirit medium or the information the loved one in spirit would like to bring through, loved ones in spirit may or may not come through in the same way as they did in a previous reading. The description they provide of themselves may change slightly, including but not limited to clothing, hair styles, personality traits, scenes from their life, and more. In this complex form of communication across dimensions, loved ones in spirit often use symbols with spirit mediums to share information. They use experiences and information familiar to the spirit medium to get their information across. Each spirit medium is different, which is why the information may come through in a slightly different way with different mediums. In addition, the loved one in spirit may need to highlight certain times in their lives to bring through a message within the message. For example, my father has come through joking and showing a photograph of himself wearing a navy blue t-shirt during a time in which he was happy. He has also come through with a feeling of sadness wearing a long sleeve red and black flannel shirt. In both instances it was him; however, he was communicating about different times in his life because the messages he shared in each reading were meant to help me with experiences in my life that he worked through on his own. There are many subtle intricacies in how loved ones in spirit communicate. There is always a meaningful reason why they are coming through in a certain way. You will be able to recognize them if you keep an open mind about how they come through and what they want to share to help you and those you love with your lives.

Having Preconceived Ideas about Messages Including Expecting or Demanding Them to Tell You About Events You Already Know About

Your loved ones in spirit are fully aware of the events taking place in your life and in the lives of those you love. When you ask them to tell you something you already know the answer to, you are demanding that they prove they know of the events you want them to acknowledge or you are demanding they only bring through what you want in order to know it is them. As an example, I had a young man coming through in spirit who was showing a memory of himself as a child in a photograph. The reading was taking place over video chat and the recipient recognized the photograph as one that was sitting on a shelf a few feet from her beyond the view of the camera. The young man in spirit did this to prove he was right there in the room with the recipient as there was no way I would have known that photograph existed or that it was in the room with the recipient at that moment in time. Instead of recognizing that the young man was right there in spirit with her, the recipient kept asking if he was with her and whether he was aware of events that had taken place in her life. By showing me the photograph, he was trying to tell her that he is with her, even when she is not aware of his presence. Her demands and expectations of only wanting to hear what she wanted to hear instead of being open and accepting of what he wanted to share ate up precious time, which possibly prevented him from sharing more meaningful communications that would have brought healing to her life. As a spirit medium, I can only ask the loved one in spirit to bring through the information someone is asking about. If they decide they do not want to bring it, there is nothing I can do as I do not control them. It does not mean it is not really them or that they do not visit you in spirit. It means what you are asking for or demanding is not what they wanted to share or communicate about. Remember, they have higher purposes for information they share.

Thinking Communications from the Other Side are as Easy as Talking to Living Beings and Expecting Spirit Mediums to Know Everything

Spirit-to-spirit communication is very complex. It is not as simple as a conversation with a person on Earth. Loved ones in spirit are communicating in a telepathic way which uses all the senses of the spirit medium to transmit information in an incredibly immersive way that goes well beyond simple verbal communication. They provide images, sounds, feelings, tastes, and smells from their viewpoint as a way of providing not only identifying information for you to claim them, but also to share their messages. It can sometimes be like a cryptic shorthand in which symbols are used and messages are hidden within messages for the recipient to figure out. There are times when I need to talk through the symbols and impressions I am receiving because the loved one in spirit is sharing pieces of information that have no meaning for me but should for the recipient. By talking through it, it gives the recipient the opportunity to recognize the meaning from their loved one in spirit. Everything loved ones in spirit share has meaning. They work hard to bring through the information and messages across dimensions in this amazing way. As a spirit medium, it is my job to share every impression and piece of information, whether it has meaning to me or not. It does not have to make sense to me because I am not their loved one on Earth, nor have I lived the lives they have or been privy to their experiences on Earth or in Heaven. When loved ones in spirit share information it is on a need-to-know basis. Spirit mediums are not all-knowing or all-seeing. We are receivers of information coming from beings in spirit. We facilitate the process of spirit-to-spirit communication and share what we receive with recipients of a reading. We can and do ask questions of loved ones in spirit to keep the processing moving along and to attempt to get answers to inquiries by recipients of a reading; however, if the loved ones in spirit are not providing an answer to a question, a spirit medium cannot force them to answer it. When this occurs, I let the recipient know the loved one in spirit is not providing an answer to their specific question.

Being Physically Exhausted or Distracted

To get the most out of your spirit medium reading, remove distractions so that you can give your full concentration to the spiritual exchange and honor your loved ones in spirit. Turn off your phone and other electronics. Sit in a quiet space without pets, kids, or other people if possible. Do not operate machinery, such as a car. Being physically exhausted or under the influence of alcohol or drugs can also be a significant block to communications from the Other Side. This is because the ability to think clearly is impaired. A spirit medium reading is a three-way communication which requires the loved ones in spirit, the spirit medium, and the recipient to be open and receptive to the information coming through. As the recipient, being able to think and recall information is very important as you need to claim your loved ones as they come through. They may also be bringing up significant memories they want you to remember. Getting a good night’s sleep and staying sober will help keep the lines of communication clear.

How to Remain Truly Open to a Reading

To remain truly open to a reading and get the most out of the spiritual communications from beyond our world, clear your mind and heart, sit in a location without distractions, be alert and sober, and remove all expectations about who will come through, how they will come through, and the information or messages they will share. By doing so, you allow your loved ones in spirit to share the most meaningful information to help you and those you love on Earth on a soul level, which can be positively life changing on many levels.

With Love and Light,
Karen T. Hluchan



Karen T. Hluchan

I am a international Spirit Medium, Reiki master, paranormal investigator, motivational speaker, spiritual artist, and author of “How Have You Loved?”